The Diapers Won't Save Us
The White House Wants to Help New Parents. But Child Care - Not Diapers - Is What We Really Need
The White House wants to buy you diapers.
It’s a noble goal. The White House is spot on to want to address our country’s ongoing maternal health crisis. This is part of an initiative they unveiled in 2022 which has now seen some positive results.
One of the popular programs involves Newborn Supply Kits, delivering a bag of baby supplies to new parents. The kits are modeled on successful programs in other countries, such as Finland (though in Finland the kits are delivered as baby boxes that double as a crib, and the U.S. delivers them in bags). The White House has big names like Olivia Wilde, Ciara and Kelly Rowland helping with their promotion, because what new parent doesn’t prefer their diapers to be endorsed by a celebrity?
The problem is the diapers. Not that babies shouldn’t have diapers, it’s just that diapers have become a stand-in for helping parents when they’re not actually what parents need.
It’s not the Diapers - it’s the Child Care
When you break down what the actual costs are for raising a young human, diapers may be a chunk of change, but they are hardly the wallet guzzlers that child care takes up, or the financial hit that comes from losing your job if you take time off and don’t have paid leave or job protections.
Common expenses for a baby’s first year now add up to $15,775, according to an analysis by BabyCenter using a First-Year Baby Costs Calculator. But this doesn’t include the cost of full time child care, which can average $321 PER WEEK, or $1284 PER MONTH. The cost of child care is much higher if you live in an expensive part of the country or urban areas. (Hello, D.C.)
There are costs associated with taking time off to have a baby. Moms lose an average of $9,500 when they take parental leave. And this is assuming their job allows such leave and holds their position for them when they return.
There are costs associated with pregnancy and delivery, where the average out-of-pocket expenses for pregnancy and child care are between $4,000 and $5,000 - and this is the cost WITH health insurance. The costs are even higher if there are complications or a NICU stay.
The cost of diapers? $70 to $80 per month.
Compare that to the cost of child care, and it’s just a rounding error.
Cost chart from Care.Com [LINK]
It’s not the diapers, it’s the policies.
All of these anti-family policies - no paid leave, costly health care, and lack of child care - have contributed to the unique stress of being a parent in America. It’s why the surgeon general has issued an advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents.
In 2023, 3000 newborn supply kits were distributed, and the expectation is that 10,000 more will be delivered in 2024. The program is part of the White House’s larger effort to make life easier during major life transitions - having a child being one of them. The goal, according to the White House, is to expand this to a national program supporting all families with the basic items they need in the vulnerable postpartum months.
But the diapers wont solve this.
The problem with newborn supply kits is that they are just that - supplies. Diapers and wipes may cost time and money, but it’s a fraction of the cost and time associated with the biggest single expense for most families: child care. And we know that child care is also the major reason why mothers have to leave the workforce, and no amount of free diapers will make up for losing half (or more) of a household’s income.
This is not to make light of the White House’s accomplishments on maternal mental health, particularly with respect to extending Medicaid coverage and coming up with better metrics and information reporting surrounding maternal emergency, obstetrics and pregnancy-related deaths. And yes, receiving diapers from a government agency may be the olive branch needed to show that further assistance might be available. But without a targeted look at the child care needs and costs, the true costs and stressors of raising a child in the United States continues to climb.
It doesn’t have to be this hard. We just need the political will and motivation to make a change.
This essay has been adapted from an article from Early Learning Nation.
Yes to all of this. I am thinking of the recent Surgeon General's report on parents and mental health, as well. This all ties together: if we cannot work, we cannot provide for our families. If we don't have safe, affordable, positive child-care options, we cannot work. If we want to stay home with children because we can't find safe, affordable, positive child-care options, we cannot afford to care for our children. And so many parents, myself included, often feel as though we are doing something wrong. Like maybe if we took more naps or did yoga more or stoped buying lattes or breastfed or lived closer to our parents who could provide free childcare THEN we would be able to get it right. But, the reality is that the system itself is broken and it is designed to shame parents (especially but not only mothers) to be more creative, work harder, do more to make it work. Diapers are not the issue and to suggest so is tone-deaf.
Oh my goodness, tell me about it! Family of 5 in the DMV (Fairfax County). We pay $950 per week in childcare for three children. We send our toddler to a home based day care (she's amazing and I feel so lucky to have found her) for $350/week. Our almost 5 year old goes to a preschool style day care for $500/week. He missed the cutoff for kindergarten by 8 days, so it's a pay-for-preschool option for us. He loves it, he's thriving, and I think he's better off with an extra year before actual school (he still needs that nap). And our 11 year old goes to after care for $100/week. We tried to make it work with one full time working parent and one part time (of course that was me), but with the move to preschool, I've had to go back to full time. I was lucky that I was able to do that easily, from a work perspective, but I get the irony that I'm staying away from my children more so I can afford to keep them away from me.
We looked into an au pair, but with all the proposed rule changes we didn't want to get caught flat footed on that and have to scramble last minute. Also, we live in a townhome and adding another adult to that living space was hard to fathom.
I don't need diapers. I need help. I need time.