Loved this! I think it’s a culture of women just not being “enough”. It’s always one thing or another. Get a “dream job”, now get a side hustle, now find a partner, oh my god have a baby, get back in shape, buy less! It’s always something and nothing is ever good enough. The de-clutter and buy less movement is the same. This way women don’t have time to look at the larger picture and fight for real equality at work or at home
I like this very much! I have four kids in a 1300 sq ft house, and we are in the house all day, so it simply does not look like an Instagram photo. I have to mentally remind myself that decluttering is quite hard, and if I want it done myself I have to actually schedule significant time to do it with the little kids OUT of the house. And in many seasons of life I simply do not have time.
People who decide to buy less/no stuff are mostly people who have *already* reached the critical point where they have everything they need.
I have finally reached this point, after many years of not having what I needed or wanted (so was also collecting stuff I *didn’t* need just in case it would fill another gap).
And it’s not anyone else’s measure either. I can never have enough scissors (even with no one else to lose them). I have plenty of bedding, clothes, pyjamas so I can do laundry when I’m up to it rather than when I urgently need something.
I just have this awareness that I’m fine now, that some of my older interests are no longer me, that I can pass things along to people who do want these things.
This. 100%. I learned this by having twins as my second--and third--baby. Over a decade ago, I was inspired by an encounter with a friend to spend some time researching and writing about clutter. You've inspired me to reuse those ideas for a new Substack post.
Yes please do!! I feel like we need to do more to normalize people trying to get organized without any sort of shame for those who aren't quite there yet. There are so many inefficiencies involved in caring for others, and that does take the form of having extra pairs of scissors, clothes one never wears, broken crayons and LEGO pieces that need boxes to go into....
So spot on Rebecca! So much of the "less" type of conversations drive me bonkers as I read them, because it is often clear that the people sharing their beautiful insights and experiences do not have children or are in a life stage where children are older or out of the home.
Yes, and how many of the "less" conversations can also be reframed to shame or guilt people who need/want "more?" It's particularly galling when it comes across like it's directed at women/moms who are likely already doing the best they can....
Thanks for this today. The clutter does drive me nuts, but between work, going back to school, and having a young child, there’s just not a lot of room in the day apart from making sure we’re not living in squalor. My husband is disabled by severe chronic illness so isn’t physically able to take on many of the domestic labors. He sees me give myself a hard time and talks me out of it, acknowledging how much I am doing my family afloat, and saying a cluttered house is less important for our son than the example of going back to school. As a family with a disabled parent, we have to figure out what systems work for us, and if other people are better at staying organized, that has to be fine for them but doesn’t mean I have to tell myself I’m doing a poor job.
This is perfect timing as I've recently become a tad obsessed with decluttering and have been listening to lots of decluttering podcasts to try to motivate me. I agree that it's just one more thing I "have to do" and I totally resent that. But I also do want a clutter-free home because all the stuff and piles everywhere add to my overwhelm on a daily basis. But I also rarely have the time or motivation to actually do anything about it. In my ideal world, Mary Poppins appears on my door step and snaps her fingers and makes it all just disappear.
Loved this! I think it’s a culture of women just not being “enough”. It’s always one thing or another. Get a “dream job”, now get a side hustle, now find a partner, oh my god have a baby, get back in shape, buy less! It’s always something and nothing is ever good enough. The de-clutter and buy less movement is the same. This way women don’t have time to look at the larger picture and fight for real equality at work or at home
I like this very much! I have four kids in a 1300 sq ft house, and we are in the house all day, so it simply does not look like an Instagram photo. I have to mentally remind myself that decluttering is quite hard, and if I want it done myself I have to actually schedule significant time to do it with the little kids OUT of the house. And in many seasons of life I simply do not have time.
People who decide to buy less/no stuff are mostly people who have *already* reached the critical point where they have everything they need.
I have finally reached this point, after many years of not having what I needed or wanted (so was also collecting stuff I *didn’t* need just in case it would fill another gap).
And it’s not anyone else’s measure either. I can never have enough scissors (even with no one else to lose them). I have plenty of bedding, clothes, pyjamas so I can do laundry when I’m up to it rather than when I urgently need something.
I just have this awareness that I’m fine now, that some of my older interests are no longer me, that I can pass things along to people who do want these things.
As the only parent in our house acutely aware of the three empty Artkive boxes sitting in the other room, thank you!
This. 100%. I learned this by having twins as my second--and third--baby. Over a decade ago, I was inspired by an encounter with a friend to spend some time researching and writing about clutter. You've inspired me to reuse those ideas for a new Substack post.
Yes please do!! I feel like we need to do more to normalize people trying to get organized without any sort of shame for those who aren't quite there yet. There are so many inefficiencies involved in caring for others, and that does take the form of having extra pairs of scissors, clothes one never wears, broken crayons and LEGO pieces that need boxes to go into....
So spot on Rebecca! So much of the "less" type of conversations drive me bonkers as I read them, because it is often clear that the people sharing their beautiful insights and experiences do not have children or are in a life stage where children are older or out of the home.
Yes, and how many of the "less" conversations can also be reframed to shame or guilt people who need/want "more?" It's particularly galling when it comes across like it's directed at women/moms who are likely already doing the best they can....
Thanks for this today. The clutter does drive me nuts, but between work, going back to school, and having a young child, there’s just not a lot of room in the day apart from making sure we’re not living in squalor. My husband is disabled by severe chronic illness so isn’t physically able to take on many of the domestic labors. He sees me give myself a hard time and talks me out of it, acknowledging how much I am doing my family afloat, and saying a cluttered house is less important for our son than the example of going back to school. As a family with a disabled parent, we have to figure out what systems work for us, and if other people are better at staying organized, that has to be fine for them but doesn’t mean I have to tell myself I’m doing a poor job.
This is perfect timing as I've recently become a tad obsessed with decluttering and have been listening to lots of decluttering podcasts to try to motivate me. I agree that it's just one more thing I "have to do" and I totally resent that. But I also do want a clutter-free home because all the stuff and piles everywhere add to my overwhelm on a daily basis. But I also rarely have the time or motivation to actually do anything about it. In my ideal world, Mary Poppins appears on my door step and snaps her fingers and makes it all just disappear.
This is fantastic. Tidiness, clear countertops, expanses of empty floors... these are all a sign of extreme privilege, nothing more.